The Importance of Dating Your Spouse

“Great marriages don’t happen by luck or by accident. They are the result of a consistent investment of time, thoughtfulness, forgiveness, affection, prayer, mutual respect, and a rock-solid commitment between a husband and a wife.” —Dave Willis

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October Greetings everyone! Fall is officially here!

In the last few years, I have really come to love fall. While I don't always love the change in schedules, I do love the beautiful colors of fall and the excitement of football and fall soccer, cooler weather, bonfires, the beautiful changing trees, sipping cider, apple picking, boots and even sweaters.

Fall brings many wonderful things, but it also brings a change in schedule from summer. We tend to spend our summers low key while fall schedules tend to be busier. With school starting there is a lot more to do. Every mama knows their plates get a little fuller. We have lunches to pack and homework to help with, sports practice to get the kids to and clothes to wash (a few more during sports seasons), helping kids with the adjustments to new classes and the expectation it all brings. There are games to attend and much driving to be done, while still keeping up with cooking, cleaning, and everyday household chores not to mention our work schedules. We often forget our spouse as well as giving them the time and attention they need. It is so easy for us to get wrapped up in the day to day we often dismiss the importance of nurturing our marriage.

So, what do we do?

When we first start dating our spouse, we often are on top of the world. We spend every moment we can with each other. You remember-those late nights talking, stretching the time out just to be together a little longer. The extra attention we spent on making things just right for the other person often the excitement gets a little lost after marriage and we easily fall into the hum drum of the day-to-day activities. We spend more time focused on getting through life and doing the daily grind (sometimes independent ---where we each do our own things) verses enjoying life and doing life together.

This can lead to disconnect within the marriage. Often couples will say "I'm not sure what happened." They feel distant from their spouse and connecting, talking, and being on the same page seems difficult suddenly. It starts to become more of a task then an enjoyment of each other and life. Often couples have said to me, "We just haven't had the time to really sit and talk about the important things we need to discuss" or "I don't want to bring that up" or even "That takes a lot of time and effort that I don't have right now." I've often heard couples say that they are interrupted by their children and that important conversation never even happens between them.

What do we do? How do we change from what we have to something different? Do we just live with the relationship we have? Where do we go from here?

Dating! Let's go back to those nights and wanting to stretch them just a little longer to be with each other. Wouldn't it be nice to feel that connection again with your spouse? To go out and have fun and laugh with each other? When we do this...dating our spouse...we bring a little of the romance and fun back into our relationship not to mention time together for talking, for learning more about the other person, hearing about their dreams or even creating a vision together for your marriage and possibly your family.

By viewing your time together as date nights, you also bring back the memories of why you fell in love with your spouse in the first place. You learn how they are changing and learn how to change with them.

So don't wait till you are feeling that disconnect. Take time to go out with your spouse and date them. Have those important conversations you've been placing on hold, share your dreams, talk about what scares you, make a vision for your family, pray continuously with each other, ask God to lead your marriage down a path that is please to him.

We hate to hear about marriages that are troubled or struggling and this is why we desire to help married couples! This is why we created the Date your Spouse! Date Night Series! We know how difficult life can be! We know how hard it can be to get that time together that you so desperately need. By creating these dates, we take the difficulty out of planning and take time to create a space for you to connect again, to laugh and be silly with your spouse again, to make new memories, and most importantly, help remind you of why God placed the two of you together.

You are one flesh so connecting and behaving as one is the plan God had all along for you.

Genesis 2:24 "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."

Make your Love Story your favorite!!

Take a look here and check out the Date Night Series as well as the Wholeheartedly Marriage retreat and see if this is what you are looking for!